The Art of Dilly Dally
My friend recently reposted a meme of a cute pink frog saying “You guys go ahead I’m gonna dilly dally”. I haven’t heard the word dilly dally in years and the silliness of it resonates with me so much that I have made it my whole personality; finding every opportunity I can to casually slip the phrase “I’m gonna dilly dally” into everyday conversation.
Dilly dally has a historical connotation of meaning indecisiveness, but if you took time to think about what dilly dally means for you I think you too would be attracted to this simple concept of some daily delulu by finding creative, flirtatious ways to “waste time”.
Work was EVERYTHING to me.
I recall coming home from a photographer and videographer workshop in the fall of 2019. I was jazzed up with ideas about how I could develop my business and skills as a videographer. Over the next year, I became completely consumed with all things Honey Fox Films. I became obsessed with hitting 10k followers so I would get the swipe-up feature. I poured my time and creativity into building a community for styled shoots and mentorships. I got an intern and became passionate about helping other videographers in the wedding industry. I booked way more projects (and subsequently flights) than I could emotionally (and subsequently physically) handle.
It didn’t occur to me that this had become an unhealthy obsession until my husband gently asked me what my hobbies were. Naturally, I suggested filmmaking to which he replied “No, that’s your job” then nudged me to try to find something to do that wasn’t work or work adjacent. I thought it was rude to suggest that I needed something else in my life, but the offense I took to his suggestion was the exact wake-up call I needed.
Our relentless pursuit of productivity often comes at the cost of neglecting other vital aspects of our lives and I believe that our collective imbalanced focus on the serious things in life is quickly becoming a burden on our health and happiness. It's easy to become ensnared by the cycle of productivity, especially when social media portrays a direct correlation between hustle and happiness. Really though, what use is it to have a flourishing, “successful” career when we start to neglect the parts of ourselves that made us shine in the first place? I must ask - “At what cost are you pursuing your goals?”
Dilly dally is not just for the silly and lazy.
This is why I argue that dilly dally-ing is not just for the silly and lazy. In fact, for me, it’s the opposite. It’s actually a gift and a talent. Because to dilly dally is the art of not overplanning every moment of our lives. It’s acknowledging the demands of our life (like the careers and relationships we are so passionate about) AND it’s incorporating things like hobbies and playful activities into our daily routine.
When I had the sense to take inventory of my work-life balance and consider what hobby I was going to pursue I thought about activities I enjoyed most as a child. The answer for me was obvious: reading. I got some book recs from a friend and picked them up from a local bookstore. I followed the example of a therapist I followed on Instagram and set a goal to read for the same amount of time that I spent on social media. I quickly fell in love with reading again, so much so that I started a Bookstagram, became a volunteer StoryGraph app librarian, and joined a couple of local book clubs. Naturally, my mental and emotional health improved as I spent time doing something I loved and enjoying a new community.
What might surprise you though is that reading made my business better. My storytelling skills skyrocketed because exposure to more stories meant I could see my couple's stories in a new way. It made me way more empathetic because I can understand emotions better. I can appreciate and understand the nuances of my couple's cultures because I made it a priority to read diversely. It forced me to learn about time management and subsequently, I’ve experienced increased productivity.
Even without all of these benefits, doing something just for fun has made me a better person because it makes me HAPPY.
A definitive guide to dilly dally-ing:
If any of what I am saying resonates with you (and I sincerely hope it does) I want you to find a way to dilly dally a little more. If you need a little help figuring out what to do when you aren’t grinding away at your job, here is my foolproof method for finding new ways to dilly dally:
1. Get nostalgic and think about what scenarios brought you joy as a child.
2. When you can picture it make a list of ways you like to move your body, foster creativity, expand your knowledge and mindset, and give back to others.
3. Make a plan and commitment to dilly dally in that way. Literally, pencil it into your calendar, invite a friend to participate, take a day or an hour off of work, literally do whatever you need to do to make it happen.
“To dilly dally, or not to dilly dally, that is the question.”
I’m not trying to be overly clever here by bringing up reading again, but one of the books I read a few years ago and dearly loved was The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle by Steven Pressfield. He said, “The Principle of Priority states (a) you must know the difference between what is urgent and what is important, and (b) you must do what’s important first.” I think his point was to say that the in-between stuff, like taking care of ourselves and nurturing our creativity outside of the context of work, is what is important. Without doing what’s important first, the urgent stuff eventually becomes a muddled, meaningless mess.
I marvel at what happens when I prioritize play and stop taking life so seriously. It might seem frivolous at first, almost counterintuitive in a world that glorifies hustle above all else. But when I immerse myself in activities that bring me joy, I discover myself and feel free. Beyond reading, I’ve been finding solace in the simple pleasures of planting and watering in my garden, taking walks to Trader Joe’s to find new ingredients to cook with, tinkering around on the piano to learn songs from my favorite TV shows and movies, and learning tarot cards just for the fun of it. Far from being a lazy indulgence, dilly dally-ing has become a cornerstone of my well-being, fostering personal growth, enhancing creativity, and quite literally enriching every facet of my existence.
To anyone who finds themselves weighed down by the burden of doing it all, I invite you to let them go on ahead without you so you can dilly dally a little.
